Bands in Hell

Another  Facebook post. This one caused a bit of discussion;

Hell is a place where the cooks are English, the policemen are German, the politicians are French, the architects are Mormons, and the bands are Steely Dan and the Grateful Dead.

This caused a few people to ask what’s wrong with the Grateful Dead. I replied

What’s wrong with the Grateful Dead, they say. Here goes:

1. They’re boring.

2. None of them could sing.

3. None of them were better than minimally adequate instrumentalists.

4. None of them could compose interesting music.

5. None of them could write interesting lyrics.

6. Their studio singles were nothing burgers.

7. Their drug-addled concert noodle fests were human rights violations.

People started listing bands which they claim are less awful than the Graetful Dead or Steely Dan,  so I clarified

It’s not that Steely Dan and the Grateful Dead are really truly objectively the worst bands ever. The problem is that otherwise sensible people, and otherwise listenable radio stations, worship these mediocrities and play their drivel over and over and over all the time endlessly. It’s truly horrific to imagine an eternity of existing in a building that looks like a sad parody of a 50s sci-fi spaceship, getting beat up constantly by Nazis, with nothing to eat but bland boiled goop, and being forced to listen to a never-ending structureless improvised GD noodlefest.

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