be afraid. be very afraid
This sign has been at many of the state park trailheads in the area for a couple of years:
Oooh,scary! Pay no attention to the triviality that there have been precisely no documented cougar/mountain lion attacks on people in Mendocino County, they attack without warning. Hiking alone causes instant death. Cougars will eat your children if you don’t keep the kids on a short leash and make a constant ruckus. EEk! Maybe it’ll be safer if we go to the beach…
But when we go to the beach, we see this frightening sign:
Don’t walk on the bluffs, the ground will crumble beneath you or you’ll slip and fall and you’ll die.
Don’t fish from the rocks or you’ll die.
Don’t walk on the beach or a sleeper wave will come and suck you out to sea and you’ll die.
Wait a second, the sign makers forgot about the sharks! They’re really, really scary.
It’s far safer to stay home and hide under your bed. That way when you’re old, you can look back at your long life of paranoia and fear and think about all of the fun you’ve had and your interesting experiences and say “oh shit, what have I done with my life?”