Orbs Crush Quack

Today I received an email through the contact form of my girlfriend’s website, orbgoddess.com. It started out:

Our Website [dreamhealer dot com] has a link from your website. We request you to remove that link at earliest because the backlink is hampering our website ranking and seo very badly.

We also understand that your website integrity isn’t in question here but the penalty from google is severely affecting our business. The link has already had a very negative effect on our website SEO and business.

We believe that you would take action over it immediately or in case of no action within 24 hrs, we are going to have to file a “Disavow Link” report with Google. If we do this, it may affect your site’s Google rankings…

Orbgoddess is a silly little site which gets very little traffic or attention. It does no black hat promotion which might possibly cause problems with Google.  It baffles me how a nice friendly link would be blamed for poor search engine rankings of a relatively large site. It should help their rankings, actually, but since Orbgoddess is a low traffic site, it wouldn’t help much, just an itsy-bitsy bit. The notion that it would have a serious negative impact is ridiculous. But not as ridiculous as the profitable quackery barfed up on dreamhealer dot com.

Dr. Quack’s Web Dude: I do not work for you. You do not pay me. Do not give me orders. Do not demand I snap to attention on a holiday weekend. Do not threaten me. Your ideas about search engine optimization are preposterous, and your boss’s naturopathic crackpottery should be illegal. I will remove the link which is benefitting your site when I get a round tuit, but at the moment I have other things to do. Like working for paying clients. Like writing a snarky blog post. Like going home and eating dinner.

For the rest of you: do you want to learn how you can spend hundreds of dollars attending a workshop about bullshit? Want to see a picture of a naturopath wearing a stethoscope so he looks like a real doctor? Want to buy DVDs and books full of new-agey gibberish? Follow this link for a heap of pseudo-scientific quackery from Adam.

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